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News » Hey Chiefs, Rams -- Show Me something

Hey Chiefs, Rams -- Show Me something

Hey Chiefs, Rams -- Show Me something
Adam Best and the rabid football fans at Fan-Sided Blogs will weigh in with the perspective from the bleachers, couches and sports bars after each week's games.

You thought Missouri's NFL teams were bad last year? This year, things have gotten even worse in the Show-Me State. Speaking of show me, show me two NFL teams worse than the Kansas City Chiefs and the St. Louis Rams and I'll show you a liar. Together these two teams are 0-6, each fairly good picks to wind up 0-16. The two teams have given up 194 points so far. That's not a poor showing defensively, that's a poor showing in the Electoral College. Ouch!

Lamar Hunt and Madame Ram, bless their souls, must be turning over in their graves right about now.

NFL Week 3

Week 3 action

    Redskins 24, Cards 17 -- Recap | Box
    Bucs 27, Bears 24 -- Recap | Box
    Vikings 20, Panthers 10 -- Recap | Box
    Falcons 38, Chiefs 14 -- Recap | Box
    Bills 24, Raiders 23 -- Recap | Box
    Dolphins 38, Patriots 13 -- Recap | Box
    Giants 26, Bengals 23 -- Recap | Box
    Titans 31, Texans 12 -- Recap | Box
    Broncos 34, Saints 32 -- Recap | Box
    49ers 31, Lions 13 -- Recap | Box
    Seahawks 37, Rams 13 -- Recap | Box
    Jaguars 23, Colts 21 -- Recap | Box
    Eagles 15, Steelers 6 -- Recap | Box
    Ravens 28, Browns 10 -- Recap | Box
    Cowboys 27, Packers 16 -- Recap | Box
    Chargers 48, Jets 29 -- Recap | Box


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The Chiefs and Rams are so bad they've taken the "rah" out of "Missourah." The Chiefs are so atrocious that Kansas City fans now actually look forward to the Royals. Meanwhile, the Greatest Show on Turf is no longer the Rams, but their opponent. Rumor has it that the entire state of Missouri just ran out of brown paper bags. The rest of the fans will just have to skip the home games for now.

Speaking of show me, show me two coaches worse than Herm Edwards and Scott Linehan and I'll show you a liar.

Edwards' offense is more predictable than the plot in a Michael Bay action movie. To make matters worse, the players he's been masquerading out there as quarterbacks -- Brodie Croyle, Damon Huard and now, try not to laugh, Tyler Thigpen -- are the biggest trio of deadbeats this side of Vincent Chase's roomies. Good thing Chiefs GM Carl Peterson called the Browns about Brady Quinn, because if he doesn't get a real QB in K.C. soon, Chiefs fans will have to call their psychiatrists.

Meanwhile, the Rams' defense just made Julius Jones and T.J. Duckett look like Walter Payton and Jim Brown. Some guy named Billy McMullen ate the Rams' cornerbacks alive, but I'm not so sure McLovin couldn't have done it just as easily. Don't even get me started on Linehan's redzone futility. That is, when his Rams actually get inside the redzone (it only took three games).

The Vice Presidential Debate will be hosted in St. Louis on Oct. 2. That's going to be extremely entertaining in its own right, but I know a way to make that event even better. Sign up Edwards and Linehan to debate football on the undercard. Talk about a "Bridge to Nowhere." Now that would be entertaining. Someone should give them both a ring -- they could even be out of work and available by then.

Around the League

AFC East

For my money, Dick Jauron is as good as any coach working in the NFL right now. He gets more out of the limited talent he's working with than even Dane Cook. That's saying something.

This just in ... Ronnie Brown has scored yet another direct-snap TD. The Sparanos whacked Bill Belichick and his 21-game regular season winning streak, sending the fair- weather Foxborough fans home a quarter early. We'll see if that Ronnie and Ricky show was a one-trick pony after their Week 4 bye.

Speaking of fair-weather Foxborough fans, don't you think you guys could have sat through just one miserable fourth quarter after all the championships you've recently won? The only people more panicked than you were Randy Moss fantasy owners. Can't you just hear Pats fans storming towards the parking lot ..."Hey, Sully, where'd ya pahk the ****in' caah?"

I-N-T-S, pick, pick, pick. It should have been three interceptions for Favre. When the grizzly gunslinger gets that careless with the ball, his team loses. Different shade of green, same old story.

For our entire AFC East breakdown go here.

AFC North

Ray Lewis hit K2 so hard that K1 felt it. Nice to see that Ed Reed, Ray-Ray and the boys are back in business. The Joe Flacco era kicks off with a 2-0 start, but can the Ravens keep their momentum going against the Stillers?

Chad Ocho Cinco might have a torn labrum, but Cincy fans and fantasy owners want to tear him a new one. Marvin Lewis, you might want to call your real estate agent. On second thought, before you sell your house make sure that someone will even hire you.

Rumor has it that the 0-3 Browns are already getting Brady Quinn prepped to play. Geez, at 0-3 I bet Phil Savage is just thrilled over spending a gazillion dollars on Derek Anderson and Co. This is the biggest financial mess this side of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Mistake by the Lake, which one? Anderson? Big Baby? Stallworth?

I think Big Ben would rather fall of his motorcycle again than face another pounding like the one Jim Johnson's defense gave him. Mike Tomlin has random amnesia, it seems, when it comes to Willie Parker. He's still on your team, Mr. T, you might want to use him.

For our entire AFC North breakdown go here.

AFC South

Texans fans have to be a little nervous about the way Matt Schaub has played so far this season. If he keeps playing like this, don't be surprised if fans start clamoring for Sage Rosenfels to step in. On the bright side, rookie Steve Slaton is the latest breakout rusher who'll try to end the Texans' almost comical game of musical backs.

How long is it going to be before the Colts get a "W" in their brand new Oil Drum? That being said, I think they will be a different team following their bye week. With Jeff Saturday back in action, Joseph Addai and the running game looked much better.

Despite whatever else he may use it for, Matt Jones sure has a nose for the ball on third and long. Hey, Greg Jones, that was a devastating shoulder block you put on Marlin Jackson to spring Fred Taylor's 34-yard rumble. And finally, in Jones news -- MJD got himself going as well. Maybe MoJo got his mojo back? After all, he's a notoriously slow starter.

While Vince was visiting the shrink, the Titans were shrinking the visiting Texans' offense. Cortland Finnegan, you might want tell your travel agent to book your travel reservations for Honolulu in February. Chris Johnson probably won't be joining him, but he could end up being worth that first-rounder they burned on him.

For our entire AFC South breakdown go here.

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  • AFC West

    Jay Cutler to Brandon Marshall is the new No. 1 QB-WR connection in the NFL. The new No. 2? The tandem lining up across from Denver's suddenly shaky pass defense. Have Champ Bailey and Dre Bly lost a step?

    The look on Larry Johnson's face late in last Sunday's game summed up the current state of the Chiefs. Dude had bitter beer face and he wasn't even drinking. Playing with Tyler Thigpen can have that effect on people. Sorry, L.J., things are only going to get worse.

    Lane Kiffin might get canned for opening up a can on the rival Chiefs before nearly beating the 3-0 Bills on the road? I guess that's just too much progress for Al Davis. The Crypt Keeper is more concerned with stockpiling top draft picks. Maybe Art Shell is available ... again?

    Antonio Cromartie should have had three picks and two touchdowns. I think the Bolts will settle for two picks and one TD, however, considering that LaDainian Tomlinson is almost back to his normal self and Philip Rivers is hotter than Anne Hathaway in nothing but a thong. I guess the Chargers weren't too happy about Ed Hochuli's blown call putting them in an 0-2 hole.

    For our entire AFC West breakdown go here.

    NFC East

    Miles Austin. Could the guy's name possibly be any more appropriate for a member of the Dallas Cowboys? His name sounds more like an old Clint Eastwood character than that of a Dallas Cowboys wideout. Regardless, he was the difference maker. By the way, say what you will about T.O., but the dude hustles on every single down.

    The G-Men once again went on cruise control, but ended up winning anyway. I'm starting to think that Eli and Plaxico just love fourth-quarter comebacks. Why else could it have possibly taken the Giants five quarters to down the lowly Bungles?

    D-McNabb and Westbrook scared the heck out of Philly fans and fantasy owners alike when they went down with injuries. Good thing they're OK, because can you imagine what that offense would look like without either one of them? Yikes! That Steelers game resembled something straight out of Mickey's gym. Brutal.

    Santana Moss is currently the best receiver named Moss in the league. Meanwhile, Clinton Portis' latest character is another guy named Clinton Portis, except this guy is a top-five running back. The 'Skins could make a return trip to the playoffs. After their Week 1 stinker, who would've thunk it?

    For our entire NFC East breakdown go here.

    NFC North

    That Kyle Orton pass to Gaines Adams was uglier than a strip poker game in the house of "The Biggest Loser." Brandon Lloyd, I haven't seen you since a carton of milk I bought about a year ago. Nice to see you again.

    Jon Kitna? Rudi Johnson? Just when you think Matt Millen is fresh out of bad ideas, he goes Cincy circa 2003 on us. That combo makes about as much sense as the upcoming Chris Cornell-Timbaland collaboration.

    Just when you think Aaron Rodgers has made Packers fans forget all about Brett Favre, the football gods intervene. Meanwhile, Ryan Grant still hasn't surpassed the century mark this season. Even a Houston RB has accomplished that feat already.

    Purple Jesus looked more like Purple Peter or John this week, but his horn-blowing apostles will take a W any way they can get one. With Jared Allen putting opposing quarterbacks in a purple haze, the Gus Bus just might avoid hitting the wall this time around.

    For our entire NFC North breakdown go here.

    NFC South

    Matt Ryan and Michael Turner. Thomas Dmitroff, you may have just put together the ATL's best duo since Outkast. With Chris Houston and John Abraham, maybe the defense can complete the Dungeon Family by becoming the Good-D Mob.

    Steve Smith returns and the Panthers are suddenly worse off? No, not at all. The Vikes were just much more desperate for a win. Jake Delhomme and Smitty will start clicking, and soon. This team could very well win the NFC South.

    Is it just me, or is Drew Brees the NFL's Steve Nash? Brees makes pedestrian WRs look like perennial playmakers on a routine basis. Additionally, he also licks his fingers like every three or four seconds. He'll have to continue to work his magic, though, because Jeremy Shockey will now be standing next to Marques Colston on the sideline in street clothes.

    Brian Griese couldn't even shave Monday after throwing 67 times. Guess he is going to have to go with that Brett Favre look. Still, I don't think the game of Twister Jon Gruden's been playing with his QBs is over yet. Throwing that much won't win him very many ball games no matter who's under center. Chucky needs to remember the importance of feeding Earnest.

    For our entire NFC South breakdown go here.

    NFC West

    Really, Arizona? Just when we were getting used to you winning. You blew it, Ken Whisenhunt. You've gotta go for it on fourth down with that little time left in the game. That was a no-brainer call.

    Mike Martz has to be a happy man. For the first time in years, Jon Kitna's miserable play came much to his delight, instead of at his expense. J.T. O'Sullivan living up to his "Just Touchdowns" nickname doesn't hurt either. Maybe Mike Nolan and his dapper suits are going to stick around the Bay Area for a while?

    The Seahawks basically had Eddie Vedder and Ichiro (hey, that's not a bad idea given the current state of things) out there playing wideout for them, but Mike Holmgren's crew managed to finally get a win. The bye couldn't come at a better time, as it looks like both Bobby Engram and Deion Branch will back in time for Week 5.

    This is one occasion where the best has definitely not been saved for last. The Rams have surrendered 114 points in just three games, an average of 38 ppg, exactly what the league-leading offense of the Broncos is averaging. So, the best offense in the league actually is the Rams' opponent. The eyes of fantasy owners and gamblers everywhere just lit up.

    For our entire NFC West breakdown go here.

    Get plenty of NFL coverage from the fans perspective at Fan-Sided Blogs, an affiliate of YardBarker.

    Author:Fox Sports
    Author's Website:http://www.foxsports.com
    Added: September 23, 2008

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